Ugh, Thanksgiving: My Family Isn’t Celebrating It

So, I know I usually post these on Mondays but, I wanted to get this out there here and now. It’s November, which for a lot of Americans means it’s time to gear up for Thanksgiving. However, this year is going to look a bit different for my family. A couple months ago, we told family we weren’t celebrating Thanksgiving. My mom and sisters had somewhat of a hard time with this, but it’s what we feel is best for us. So, why not? You’ve celebrated your whole life, why are you stopping now? Now, I know I don’t owe anyone an explanation, but I feel like I want to explain our reasoning. I know there are so many people out there who feel the same about this as I do. So, let’s get into the nitty gritty.

Why Did We Decide Not to Celebrate Thanksgiving?

There are a few different reasons we decided to stop celebrating this holiday. Because this is such a shift in what my family expected, I’m hoping to clear up why we won’t be there this year (or any other from now on.)

Reason #1: I Just Don’t Like It

Plain and simple, I just don’t like Thanksgiving. This shouldn’t come as a surprise to the people closest to me, but somehow, here we are, haha! I’ve never liked Thanksgiving. Here’s a picture as proof from when I was a teen. I’m on the end, dying internally.

It’s chaotic and it’s boring all at the same time. There’s nowhere to sit. It’s hot. People are asking shit I don’t want to talk about. It’s cramped. I feel like I get in everyone’s way. I always remember wondering if we could go home yet. For me, it’s just too much of a sensory overload with so many people crammed into a small space in addition to the rest of the reasons I’m about to list.

Reason #2: The Food

I’m gonna come right out and say it. I don’t like Thanksgiving food. Roasted turkey is blegh. I can make mashed potatoes and stuffing any time of year and don’t think I need a holiday to do so. Sweet potatoes are icky in ANY way, shape, or form. And here’s another opinion that might really make people upset: pumpkin pie is overrated as fuck. If you *have* to drown the pie in whipped cream to make your experience better, the pie ain’t that great. I said it. Sue me.

The meal is expensive, too much work, and isn’t even my favorite. I refuse to put in so much time, energy and stress myself out for food I don’t want. I would rather have Taco Bell than dry turkey. And also, I do not feel like eating aforementioned turkey for a week for leftovers. Thanks but no thanks. The food sucks and the leftovers are icky. I don’t care how moist The Moist-maker is, Ross, I’m not a fan.

AND WHY IS DINNER AT 4 P.M.?!?!

Reason #3: I Don’t Like The Traditions

Alright, remember how I said it was hectic? That was the food part. The boring? That’s the traditions. It used to be that we would play the game Catch Phrase every year after everyone ate. (Still one of my favorite games to this day, but we never get to play it.) Over the last couple years, that tradition has died off. It was the ONLY THING I FREAKING LIKED.

I’m not a huge fan of football. The Macy’s parade on t.v. is lame-sauce. Sitting cramped on the couch unable to use my elbows isn’t exactly my idea of a good time. And even though it’s just family, visiting drains the shit out of my social battery. I just want to be alone, damn it, haha!

And now this last tradition may not be done in your family, but there was one particular part of the evening where I wanted to hide in the bathroom and never come out. “Okay, now everyone go around and say what you’re thankful for.” I would rather shrivel up and fucking DIE. I would be thankful for not having to announce what I’m thankful for in front of my family. It’s embarrassing and sometimes what I’m thankful for is personal and doesn’t need to be shared with literally all of my close family. I don’t like talking in front of other people, and if I ever show up at another Thanksgiving event (I likely won’t), I’m leaving on the spot if someone tries to force me to do this shit again.

And that brings me to my next reason…

Reason #4: Thanksgiving Isn’t the Only Time to Show Thankfulness

I think it’s really quite pointless to have a holiday to “give thanks” when frankly, we should be thankful all year round. I don’t need a special day or a special month to tell me when to be grateful for the things I have. It’s something I do on my own throughout the entire year. And because I know what I’m grateful for, nobody else needs to. I don’t need to share what I’m thankful for to have it approved by the rest of the family.

I think that’s what bothered me about that tradition the most, in addition to it being completely freaking embarrassing. It’s not a pissing contest of who can say the most tear-jerking thing that they’re thankful for. And when you’re forced to come up with something on the spot, at least for me, it’s generic. Everyone knows the big things they’re thankful for and it’s pointless to go around just to have everyone say “I’m thankful for my family, I’m thankful for my friends.” Okay, Cocomelon. To me, it’s about appreciating the little things, and I felt that doing that tradition, people would act as if the things I was grateful for weren’t the “right things.” So basically, I said what everyone else wanted to hear so that I could get the fuck out of that situation. Never again.

Reason #5: The History of the Holiday is Horrible

Lastly, and probably most importantly, I don’t like the historical implications of Thanksgiving. I don’t like that I was taught in school that everyone sat down at a table peacefully and had “the first Thanksgiving.” The Wampanoag tribe (which was the tribe that originally helped the pilgrims) was nearly wiped out after this “first Thanksgiving.” The reason I’m putting that in quotes is because the indigenous peoples had autumn harvest feasts to give thanks way before pilgrims ever arrived. It was the first one AFTER English colonizers arrived, which teaches people that none of the harvest celebrations prior mattered, which simply isn’t true.

This article from Washington Post is highly informative and I feel like it gives a better insight into how the Wampanoags feel about the holiday. I want our child learning the truth about what happened, which is something I never was taught until now. I’m STILL learning more about what happened and correcting the education I received as a child. And if we know the truth about Thanksgiving, I don’t want to continue celebrating something that was so devastating, teaching our son that this is a time for happiness and thankfulness, when for so many, it’s the complete opposite.

So What Are We Doing for Thanksgiving Instead?

Nothing. On the fourth Thursday of November, I don’t plan to do a whole lot of anything. We’re going to eat whatever we want, stay home, not be stressed out, not participate in traditions we don’t agree with, and we’re going to do our best to educate ourselves regarding Thanksgiving’s true history. One thing I’m planning to do the week of the holiday is make some traditional Native American recipes as part of our conversation regarding Thanksgiving. I was recently taught about a couple traditional dishes (and their backstories) from a new friend. It’s my goal to hopefully learn more and help teach others.

Something you can do though is find out which tribes originally inhabited the land you’re living on. This website can help you do that if you type in your address. This way you can find out more about the tribes that lived there and pay some form of respect to them. We live on Tulalip/ Coast Salish lands and one of the things I plan to do as our son gets older is taking him to the Hi-Bulb Cultural Center and Natural History Preserve. This is a Tulalip tribe interactive cultural center, and I want to help give back. Learn about the tribes whose land you’re living on.

In Conclusion:

There are SO many reasons why someone may not celebrate Thanksgiving. I’ve seen people get berated about it, myself included. But everyone’s reasons are valid. I mainly wrote this to better explain to my friends and family, but if you also find yourself on the fence about ANY holiday, listen up. If you don’t want to celebrate a holiday that doesn’t feel good to celebrate, don’t. Don’t celebrate because it’s what everyone else wants. Don’t live your life trying to please other people. I did for so long and making this decision has made me SO MUCH happier. Be happy with your choices and do what feels right to you.

If you enjoyed this post and want to see more like it, make sure you follow me! I post new recipes every Friday and family fun stuff every other week. Feel free to check out my other posts on my Parenting Ideas page or any of the posts down below. Thanks so much for reading, everyone. Have a great day!

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